In keeping with the morbid start to November (Nov. 2 is All Soul’s Day and El Dia de Los Muertos), today is Plan Your Epitaph Day. For some help, I perused the dark HardieHouse site, which offers classic epitaph examples and dire warnings about what happens to your grave if you don’t write your own epitaph and leave it to someone else. For example, the site lists this one:
Here lies the body of Richard Hind,
who was neither ingenious, sober or kind.
After reading that, I was convinced this is a worthwhile endeavor. But what to say about myself? Can’t I just pay someone to do it? Apparently, yes. Lance Hardie is epitaph author extraordinaire, but as he says, he ain’t cheap. (He does offer free epitaphs to “prisoners on death row and U.S. military personnel with orders to report to a combat zone.” Seriously.)
So it looks like I’m stuck writing this for myself. Alright. Ahem. Ahem again. Here goes:
Here lies S, who once blew her nose
that out came her toes.
Err, maybe not. My partner, however, is much better at this:
G died while proving men can fly.
Some say he was just falling with style.
For more entertaining epitaphs, check out MTWorld.com‘s list. So far, this is best list I’ve found. One of my favorites:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
Happy All Souls’ Day!